were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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