You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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