I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
MIDGETS
????
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
