his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
