That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
