when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
