I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
