So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
