You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
