at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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