Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize