I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
