Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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