walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
