at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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