They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
