I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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