there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
