I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
