he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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