i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
People in love make me want to vomit
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
