What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Be still, my beating vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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