Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i would punch a child for taco bell
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
