I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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