The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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