You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
