please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
