I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's the barista slut.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
