we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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