hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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