My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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