We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
