we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
