Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
