Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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