My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
