If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
