He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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