the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
