God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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