What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
