Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
