last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
