He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
