grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
