"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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