I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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