So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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