Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
