How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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