it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
