Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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